Attached to God: A Practical Guide to Deeper Spiritual Experience
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-03-26 06:52:03
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Krispin Mayfield
- ISBN：0310363799
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Summary
Why does God feel so far away？ The reason--and the solution--is in your attachment style。
We all experience moments when God's love and presence are tangible。 But we also experience feeling utterly abandoned by God。 Why？
The answer is found when you take a deep look at the other important relationships in your life and understand your attachment style。 Through his years working in trauma recovery programs， extensive research into attachment science， and personal experiences with spiritual striving and abuse， licensed therapist Krispin Mayfield has learned to answer the question: Why do I feel so far from God？
When you understand your attachment style you gain a whole new paradigm for a secure and loving relationship with God。 You'll gain insights about:
How you relate to others--both your strengths and weaknesses
The practical exercises you can use to grow a secure spiritual attachment to God
How to move forward on the spirituality spectrum and experience the Divine connection we all were created for
You'll learn to identify and remove mixed messages about closeness with God that you may have heard in church or from well-meaning Christians。 With freedom from the past， you can then chart a new path toward intimate connection with the God of the universe。
We all experience moments when God's love and presence are tangible。 But we also experience feeling utterly abandoned by God。 Why？
The answer is found when you take a deep look at the other important relationships in your life and understand your attachment style。 Through his years working in trauma recovery programs， extensive research into attachment science， and personal experiences with spiritual striving and abuse， licensed therapist Krispin Mayfield has learned to answer the question: Why do I feel so far from God？
When you understand your attachment style you gain a whole new paradigm for a secure and loving relationship with God。 You'll gain insights about:
How you relate to others--both your strengths and weaknesses
The practical exercises you can use to grow a secure spiritual attachment to God
How to move forward on the spirituality spectrum and experience the Divine connection we all were created for
You'll learn to identify and remove mixed messages about closeness with God that you may have heard in church or from well-meaning Christians。 With freedom from the past， you can then chart a new path toward intimate connection with the God of the universe。
Reviews
Leia
，
A friend asked me to read this， and I am not the audience。 I hope the people who need this book find it， and moreover I hope they can escape the toxic theology that necessitates them reading this。
bookishtory
，
I’m going to be thinking on this one for a while。
Lindsay O’Connor
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“We need freedom from shame-filled spirituality not only to escape our own shame but also to heal our systems that use shame to oppress and abuse。”“…the real way we keep closeness is not by performing but by expressing our needs and receiving a caring response。”“God is not driven away by sin but instead engages with people and their sin。 We see a God that connects， then redirects。“It’s only March， but I feel confident this book will be in my top 10 for the year。 Krispin Mayfield draws on his exp “We need freedom from shame-filled spirituality not only to escape our own shame but also to heal our systems that use shame to oppress and abuse。”“…the real way we keep closeness is not by performing but by expressing our needs and receiving a caring response。”“God is not driven away by sin but instead engages with people and their sin。 We see a God that connects， then redirects。“It’s only March， but I feel confident this book will be in my top 10 for the year。 Krispin Mayfield draws on his expertise as a therapist to apply attachment science to faith。 I have attended some of my dad’s foster parent trainings on attachment and am somewhat familiar with attachment science as an early childhood educator， so I was intrigued to read about how it could apply in a faith context。 In this powerful， important book， Krispin describes the styles of attachment and how they impact our relationship with God。 He addresses the specific types of healing needed for each of the wounded attachment styles in a clear， relatable way that is filled with wisdom and compassion。Reading this book gave me a different framework to consider how and why my faith has shifted over the past 5 years。 I saw so many direct connections between what he explained and what I’ve experienced in my deconstruction/reconstruction journey。 It helped me realize that most of my healing in relationship to God has been related to attachment wounds， many of which are often perpetuated in the church。 I can’t recommend this book enough， especially for those who have been wounded in Christian settings。 This is a must-read！ 。。。more
Benjamin Shurance
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Thinking about Christian spirituality through the lens of attachment science yields many helpful insights （and potential theological problems？ 。。。that is for the reader to weigh）。 I thought the first few chapters were a little superficial， but then he started attacking Tozer， Luther and Spurgeon and things got interesting （I say this a bit in jest， but also true）。 Some of his stories as a counselor are quite moving。 Could be 4。5 stars。
Yvonne
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Thoughts to follow…
Emily Zell
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This book is such a balm。 I can’t get enough。 To understand the psychology behind our feelings of disconnection with God and then have insights on who God is and his desire for connection with us is such a gift。
Josh Olds
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Attached to God is the type of book you can’t grasp in one reading。 I had a difficult time writing this review because every time I sat down to parse out just how I felt about it， I ended up opening the book and losing myself in a chapter， a page， or even just a paragraph。 There was something new and different to reflect on every time I opened its pages。 I could have easily written five different （and always positive！） versions of this review based simply on what struck me as most relevant at th Attached to God is the type of book you can’t grasp in one reading。 I had a difficult time writing this review because every time I sat down to parse out just how I felt about it， I ended up opening the book and losing myself in a chapter， a page， or even just a paragraph。 There was something new and different to reflect on every time I opened its pages。 I could have easily written five different （and always positive！） versions of this review based simply on what struck me as most relevant at the time I was writing。Attached to God is a book about your relationship with God， specifically why that relationship might be a struggle。 Why does God feel so far away？ The reason—and the solution—is in your attachment style。 It’s a bold prediction from the back cover， a bit hyperbolic compared to Mayfield’s more careful and nuanced claims in the book， but it isn’t incorrect。 Understanding the problem has to be the first step。 If you’re on the wrong path， running down it harder won’t get you any closer to your goal。 Instead， Krispin encourages readers to step back， evaluate their path， and build a bridge toward a better way forward。As a licensed professional counselor， Krispin Mayfield’s clinical practice focuses on attachment-based emotionally focused therapy。 This paradigm establishes four different ways people relate to others: secure， anxious， avoidant， or fearful。 Obviously， a secure attachment is the goal of all relationships with the other three being characterized by different themes。 Mayfield draws out each of these themes to explore why individuals may have developed insecure attachments with God。The first two chapters of Attached to God provide an introduction to Mayfield’s thesis。 In the opener “The Still Face of God，” Krispin uses the imagery of the Still Face experiment， where a parent refuses to show emotion to their young child。 The child reacts to get a response， then cries， then ends up in a full-on meltdown because of the perceived emotional distance from their parent。 It can be the same way with God， at times。 How do we find ourselves relating to God when we feel distant from him？ How do we reach for closeness with the Divine？ The second chapter builds a general overview of attachment science， briefly outlining the four different attachment styles。The three chapters that follow expand upon that general outline， with a chapter each on the three insecure attachment styles。 Attached to God explores why individuals may have ended up relating to God with one of these three styles and the results are eye-opening。 As the product of American evangelicalism， Mayfield’s context and experience often comes from that religious paradigm。 When he speaks of anxious attachment， he gives the example of A。W。 Tozer， a man famous for this relationship with and writing about God。 Mayfield carefully and respectfully examines Tozer’s life， suggesting that his single-minded desire to cultivate a relationship with God was not based in healthy attachment， but from an anxiety-ridden attachment that never felt secure in the relationship: It’s as though he clung to the hem of God’s skirt， unable to venture out into the world， robbed of the ability to grow， learn， and engage with others。Shutdown spirituality—or avoidant attachment—is where any expression of negative emotion is believed to lead to strain in the relationship。 The relationship must be perfect: Christians shouldn’t feel sadness or worry or doubt or anything else that questions God’s goodness。 This leads to a relationship with God that is often disconnected or insincere。 We feel that we can’t be authentic in our relationship with God or question the Divine in any way。 Again， Mayfield looks toward the evangelical church， which has often suppressed doubt or worry， cultivated a theology of celebration， and offer simplistic answers to difficult questions as a driving factor toward the development of this attachment。Shame-filled spirituality， or fearful attachment， is probably the most prevalent insecure attachment I’ve seen as an evangelical pastor。 In Reformed circles， specifically， but evangelicalism in general， the depravity of humanity and the vastness of human sin is constantly at the forefront of the conversation。 The resultant view of God is one that is judgmental and wrathful， whose love comes with conditions and who is never happy with you just as you are。After a transition chapter， Attached to God then goes back through these three attachment styles to focus on how we move from insecure to secure attachments。 How do we move from anxiety to rest， from being shut down to being engaged， from being filled with shame to being filled with delight？ The path that Krispin Mayfield presents isn’t easy， but it is clear。 He offers a different way of relating to God， one that is more liberating， more loving， and more secure。If your relationship with God has been shaken， consider that the problem isn’t you and it isn’t God—it’s how your culture has presented God to you and how it taught you to relate with God。 The Divine is not fickle or angry or disappointed in you。 You are loved by God unconditionally。 Attached to God is a gospel message to those mired in evangelical religion。 This is one of the most important books I’ve read in a long time。 Krispin Mayfield pinpoints precisely where so many people are struggling， but few have the language to express that struggle let alone find a path to healing。 Attached to God gives a voice to a generation of Christians seeking a different way of finding God than their churches have presented。 It validates their trauma， acknowledges their pain， and gently shepherds them toward healing。 If we take this book seriously， it would start a revival。 。。。more
Tamara
，
incredibly helpful in reframing relationship to god through our relationships to humans。 also， like a truly good teacher， i don't get any indication of which attachment style Krispin is - he presents them all with equal "we" language that draws in the reader and details all the harmful and helpful qualities of each style without judgement。 incredibly helpful in reframing relationship to god through our relationships to humans。 also， like a truly good teacher， i don't get any indication of which attachment style Krispin is - he presents them all with equal "we" language that draws in the reader and details all the harmful and helpful qualities of each style without judgement。 。。。more
Brady Mason
，
This is a beautiful book。 Attachment theory has become immensely meaningful for me and getting to think of god in terms of a healing， safe relationship in which I can learn to be secure is a balm for me。 If you get the chance to read it， it's well worth it and worth having handy to return to often。 This is a beautiful book。 Attachment theory has become immensely meaningful for me and getting to think of god in terms of a healing， safe relationship in which I can learn to be secure is a balm for me。 If you get the chance to read it， it's well worth it and worth having handy to return to often。 。。。more
Jenai Auman
，
Krispin put so many words to how my wounds have affected my relationship with God。 After religious trauma， I have been navigating a spiritual crater， logically believing that God is good， but wondering why the pieces of my life had been nuked by an inescapable bomb。 Reading on my standard attachment style （outside of a secure attachment） I could find more pieces in the crater， fit them together， and let God heal the wounds。 With Krispin's help， I could see my own insecure attachment style （shutd Krispin put so many words to how my wounds have affected my relationship with God。 After religious trauma， I have been navigating a spiritual crater， logically believing that God is good， but wondering why the pieces of my life had been nuked by an inescapable bomb。 Reading on my standard attachment style （outside of a secure attachment） I could find more pieces in the crater， fit them together， and let God heal the wounds。 With Krispin's help， I could see my own insecure attachment style （shutdown） and name it。 I could go back and see how religious trauma reinforced my insecurity。 I grew up in a childhood home believing my emotions weren't welcome， and I landed in a church home that had me check my emotions at the threshold。 My personal development has been fostered in a way that a show of emotions will be met with punishment。 Krispin helped me name and begin the process of disassembling that belief。 。。。more
K。J。 Ramsey
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